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Comments

Lisa V

Oh, Terrilyn, I'm sorry. I am thinking of you.

julia

I don't know what happened, but I'm sorry to hear of your anguish. It's a sucky feeling, one I know all too well. I hope you can get it resolved satisfactorily, and soon, so you don't have to keep feeling like this.

rosemoon

Hi Terrilynn---I'm keeping you in my thoughts.

paigeb

I'm here. Call me.

julia

I know you can.

kenju

Terrilynn, I am so sorry you are in pain. It will pass; hang in there.

InterstellarLass

You can do it. We women just have that ability.

Betsy

Yep, I remember that storm.
What got me through it was leaning on people - friends and (at the time) almost total strangers.

I highly recommend that approach; I hereby volunteer for service.

emily

Thinking about you,Terri.

Helene

Ditto all of the above. That you write about with such clarity is a good sign. Hang in there. I'm thinking about you

Moonlight

"I know I'll get through this. That's what I do; I get through it and I carry on."

It's good you feel you can persevere, and it's good to have people who support you in doing so. But from what I've been reading here lately you're not talking about persevering, you're talking about slowly slipping into an abyss.

You are clearly a smart person, so perhaps it's time to try something else. To think outside the box of your own existence and life experience. To stop over-thinking and over-analyzing and to get back to basics.

A few things to consider:

1) How much time are you spending writing in your journals and on your blog? What are you getting out of those minutes or hours each day? If your self-expression is an escape for you, is it an effective escape, or is it a trap in itself? If it's therapeutic what benefits are you deriving from this therapy?

2) Do you trust yourself? Do you trust the people around you? Do you trust where you live? Or do you feel perpetually at risk in some way? If you feel at risk you're going to have a hard time finding comfort and balance in life.

You might also consider whether the role you've adopted for yourself - that of someone who always 'carries on' - doesn't undercut your own ability to make positive changes in your life. Because change of any kind could be an admission that you can't just carry on, which in turn could sabotage the liferaft of invulnerability that you've been clinging to for so long.

And believe me, I've been there.

Good luck.

OldOldOldLady Of The Hills

So sorry you are going through these hard hard times....I hope it passes and that things will be better, very soon...if that is possible...

Jody

I'm sorry I don't visit more often, so I could have said sooner that I'm sorry, and I hope it will be okay, and I hope you find strength in surprising places. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

I'm always surprised by the small things that can turn around a black mood. It doesn't exempt me from having to figure out the moods, but it does make it easier to imagine the solutions.

Lora

((Cyberhugs))

A weeks gone by since you posted this and I sincerely hope that you are feeling a little more whole.

javajeanelaine

terrilynn, I am thinking of you, hon.

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